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 Dating in the Work Place

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Workplace Relationships & Dating Co-Workers...
We spend almost a quarter of our lives in a work environment. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that sparks may fly between co-workers. If handled well, a workplace relationship can be a life-long committment. But if it goes wrong, the results can be devastating.

Although American culture separates business from pleasure / career from relationships, today's corporate driven society has become a likely place for people to meet a partner. If you didn't meet someone during your college or university years, meeting someone at the office may be one of the best options left for you to find your soul mate.

Large vs. Small Workplace

Falling for a fellow employee while working in a small-to-medium size office can be especially hard with everyone knowing everyone else's personal and work-related business. But this is the very reason that it happens so often--the day-to-day involvement with a small number of co-workers brings people closer together emotionally, as well as physically. It's also why you should seriously consider the consequences of getting involved in a relationship in a small work place. Larger offices generally have a less personal environment and offer a bit more privacy between co-workers.

To Date... or Not to Date

Working along side or near a person of interest allows you to get closer without the jitters or nervousness. In general group conversations, you will learn a lot about each other's opinions and interests and even ways of seeing the world. Now you've come to the fork in the road and have to decide if moving ahead in a relationship is worth the risk.

First, you need to understand your reason for dating someone at work. Is it the thrill, the flirting, the glances, the playful jokes and letters? Is it lust or a real love interest? You may get a lift and feel desirable, but you need to get beyond that feeling of excitement and focus on the reality of the person you're interested in. Both partners need to understand the motives and long-term desires of the other to make a decision to move ahead. Talk it out first.

Also, keep in mind that having an office affair is like being stuck in a small town, complete with gossips, back-stabbers and people who want to hurt your reputation in order to acquire your credibility and business. All relationships have benefits and drawbacks. An office romance offers very few advantages over a traditional dating situation and tend to be superficial.

Drama in the Workplace

In the same way that a traditional dating situation can turn sour, an office romance can be filled with drama. The difference is the fall out can affect a lot more than just your relationship.

  • Tension in the relationship can cause additional stress on the job.
  • Distance between your co-workers widens resulting in lost trust and friendship.
  • Personal space during disagreements or spats will be hard to come by when you work in the same arena.
  • Resentment by co-workers can cause sabotage or gossip resulting in lost opportunities for promotion or raises.
  • The thrill of clandestine intimacy can put you in an awkward position, if you're caught.

Ending a Workplace Relationship

As with many relationships, you may find that this one isn't working out. If you decide that it's not working and you need to end the relationship, consider the possible repercussions.

  • Those 40-hour work weeks may begin to feel like an eternity.
  • Breaking off a normal relationship is much easier in that you no longer have to see the other person. The same rule doesn't apply when it comes to an office romance.
  • The distraction of a breakup can affect your work performance. Jealousy and the day to day unavoidable contact can also affect your relationship with other employees especially if they move on to another relationship within the company.
  • Your private discussions may be brought out in a moment of vengeance. Be careful with your opinions and especially those about coworkers. They may come back to haunt you.

If it's true love, the relationship will ultimately work out. But make sure you conduct yourself with integrity and business-like decorum to protect your future employment. Keep the drama outside of the office. If it comes to an end, make sure you keep it as 'clean' as possible to avoid any potential fallout.


By Vanessa May

DateShowcase.com © 2007
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