| 'Rebound
dating' is a relationship that begins immediately following the break up of a
long-term relationship. Instead of fixing a broken heart, rebound relationships
often cause more pain then they may relieve. As someone once said, "It's
like jumping from one moving train to another." |
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If you are in a rebound dating relationship now
or considering entering one, proceed with caution. The following advice may help:
Fools Rush In - Even though it's natural to feel needy and
vulnerable after a break-up, jumping into a relationship to solve your loneliness
is never the answer - not only for you but for the other person, as well. Allow
yourself time to grieve and heal before becoming emotionally involved again. Take
the time to evaluate what went wrong with your previous relationship. Listen
to the Wise - A break-up can make you vulnerable to emotional or sexual
manipulation by unsavory types. Friends and family can keep you centered during
the healing process, but you need to be open and share your feelings, hopes and
dreams before moving into a new rebound relationship. Signs You're in
a Rebound Relationship If you're dating someone who has been out of
their last relationship for less than a year, you may be dating a rebounder. More
obvious are the words and behaviors that may show they're stuck on their old love.
Chances are good that your relationship will be short-lived, as the person heals
and moves on. A sure sign that a relationship is on the rebound is if your
new partner seems somehow familiar to you. We often pick people to date who have
similar traits with our old one partner - even if those traits are negative. Another
indication is when you're seeing him/her as your rescuer from your last bad relationship.
Rebound dating can cover up, block or repress a multitude of emotions that
need to be addressed. Often blind to the evidence of their incompatibility, one
thought holds them together: "Anyone is better than being along." The
danger comes when the truth begins to surface and abuse or hostility may arise.
If you decide that you still want to move ahead with someone in this stage,
take it slow. Talk about your concerns and be prepared for the eventual end. Avoid
Rebounding It is highly advised that widows or divorced individuals wait
at least one year before beginning another committed relationship. Allow plenty
of time to work through the shock, anger and despair that comes at the end of
a relationship.
Take the time to soul search on how ready you are for another
commitment. Many people have a series of bad relationships, not because they are
perpetual victims or have a run of bad luck, but because they have not taken the
time that they need to ground themselves and heal. This may be the time to make
an honest accounting of your responsibility in past affairs of the heart.
By Vanessa May
DateShowcase.com © 2007
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