Wouldn't it be great if there was a magic spell to help
you find the perfect match? Maybe in a fairy tail -- but in reality it's much more difficult! It's not easy to meet someone new and it takes time to get to know each other. We've all heard people say, "there's someone out there for everyone". Well, here are a few things for you to consider when you're searching for the perfect match:
Be Realistic About Yourself
You might as well draw a name from a hat if you aren't honest about who you are when your trying to find your soul mate. You need to think long and hard about yourself-- and not just superficially! Understand your own likes and dislikes and be honest with what you'll accept and what you can't accept in a partner. If you have trouble seeing yourself, there are a wide variety of free personality tests that can help you see 'what others see' online. This will make it easier for you to define what you're looking for in a partner.
Eight Areas to Consider:
- Personality Type: Are you outgoing and sociable or shy and reserved? Are you a born leader or would you just as soon take directions from someone else? Although they say "opposites attract", it's proven that people with similar personality types have more successful relationships.
- Ethnicity or Religion: Your ethnicity may be an important aspect of who you are as a person. Don't be ashamed of it-be honest with the role it plays in finding your perfect match. Are you a spiritual person-- or are you just trying to enjoy the ride? If you're active in any religion, you would probably want to avoid an atheist.
- Personal Interests and Hobbies: Are there hobbies that help define who you are and that would be non-negotiable in a relationship? Everyone has things that they won't compromise on when looking for a partner. For instance, if you love dogs, you wouldn't want someone who is allergic to dogs. Are you a physical fitness nut or a laid back couch potato? All of these personal interests define what is important in your life and need to be accepted or shared by a life long partner.
- Physical Attractiveness: We all know that a match made on a purely physical level is not enough. It goes much deeper! But as much as we would like to be able to overlook the physical, let's face it, it's one of the first reason's we're attracted to someone. Just be realistic and don't put too much weight on specific physical attributes. These can usually be overlooked if you connect in other ways.
- Communication Skills: A healthy long-term relationship requires the ability and willingness to talk, debate, laugh, cry and connect emotionally through verbal communication. Although it's not always necessary, having comparable educational backgrounds keeps discussions lively and both partners challenged. Sharing interests, religion, books, music, etc. are all ways we connect in this way.
- Physical Location: It's possible that someone in France could be your perfect match. But how is that going to workout in the long-term? Although there are always exceptions, the odds are against you ending up in a long-term relationship with someone halfway around the world. Before considering a long distance relationship, be sure you've exhausted all other options to find someone in your own neighborhood.
- Future Vision: It's often overlooked, but a healthy relationship must include a shared vision for the future. This is one area that you can't compromise on! With different ideas on careers, family and personal goals, life will be one conflict after another as you struggle for control.
Is there really such a thing as a 'perfect match'? You'll find a wide variety of answers to that question! But in most truly successful relationships, you'll find common ground among all the areas discussed above. Chances are, if you focus your attention on these points--you'll find more success too.
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