 Dating
a loser can lead to years of heartache, emotional stress and even physical trauma.
What may appear to
be a loving, supportive relationship can turn into a serious
"fatal attraction", if you're not careful. Although it's not always easy to spot a loser, there are some tell tale signs to look out for when starting a relationship. Here are some tips to help you avoid dating a loser.
Sometimes the character traits of people we meet
aren't obvious, but over time their abnormal behavior may become evident. A bad
relationship not only affects man or woman personally but their loved ones and
can have a negative impact on the way we feel about love and romance in the future.
That's why the sooner you're able to identify any unacceptable quirks the sooner
you'll be able to move on. The following will help you recognize a losing relationship:
- Physical Rough Housing - Stereotypical behavior usually attributed
to men. But women slap, kick and punch in the same way men shove and restrain.
This type of behavior is a deal breaker. Time to move on!
- Early
Attachments - Quick expressions of love and passion are danger signs. Before
you even have enough time to assess your own feelings, the loser is way ahead
of the game professing that you are the love of his life and that he'll never
meet anyone who fills his needs as much as you do. This is a sure sign of immaturity.
Healthy relationships take time to develop and mature individuals understand the
stakes.
- Temper, Temper! - A sure sign of trouble when
dating a loser are outbursts of anger toward others and temper tantrums. Yelling,
cursing, throwing objects and punching walls serve to intimidate followed by a
quick reassurance that their temper will never be played out on you. This is abuse
and you may become fearful of confrontation or of expressing your opinion which
is a part of a healthy relationship.
- Critical Behavior - The 'loser' is a master of the put-down. Your every move will be corrected;
how you look will be critiqued; every bit of confidence and self-esteem will be
attacked, forcing you to be cautious and distant and experience a sense of worthlessness.
- Eliminates Social Network - To gain control, the loser
will work to eliminate all other relationships including both families. Fearing
the influence of others, the loser will sabotage and deceive you into agreeing
that you need to make new friends and will calculate ways for you to emotionally
distance yourself from even your own family.
- The Blame Game - Losers never take responsibility for their bad behavior. No matter what negative
emotion the 'loser' feels will be your fault. The loser will blame their anger
and misbehavior on any small infraction you make and announce that if you loved
them more or had not questioned their behavior things would be better.
- No
Personal Interests - Along with letting go of all your friends and your social
circle, the loser will encourage you to stop participating in hobbies or activities
outside of their control. The loser will be jealous and threatened by anyone you
are close to - even your children.
- Control Freak - If
you're dating a loser, your every move will be questioned. To maintain control,
even the mud on your car tires will be noticed and questioned. If you fail to
answer your phone, the inquisition will be never ending: where were you, what
were you doing, who you were talking to, etc. Trust will be absent from this relationship.
- Public Embarrassment - Any opinion you express may be
used against you in public to embarrass you into holding your comments and allowing
the loser to be the center of attention.
Probably the most important
thing to remember is that your friends and family can often see the truth of your
situation better than you. Always take their concerns and observations into consideration.
By Noreen Ruth
Dating & Relationship Expert
DateShowcase.com Editor |
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