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 Are You Dating a Loser?

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Dating a loser can lead to years of heartache, emotional stress and even physical trauma. What may appear to be a loving, supportive relationship can turn into a serious "fatal attraction", if you're not careful. Here are some things to watch out for to avoid dating a loser.

Sometimes the character traits of people we meet aren't obvious, but over time their abnormal behavior may become evident. A bad relationship not only affects man or woman personally but their loved ones and can have a negative impact on the way we feel about love and romance in the future. That's why the sooner you're able to identify any unacceptable quirks the sooner you'll be able to move on. The following will help you recognize a losing relationship:

  • Physical Rough Housing - Stereotypical behavior usually attributed to men but women slap, kick and punch in the same way men shove and restrain. This type of behavior is a deal breaker. Time to move on!

  • Early Attachments - Quick expressions of love and passion are danger signs. Before you even have enough time to assess your own feelings, the loser is way ahead of the game professing that you are the love of his life and that he'll never meet anyone who fills his needs as much as you do. This is a sure sign of immaturity. Healthy relationships take time to develop and mature individuals understand the stakes.

  • Temper, Temper! - A sure sign of trouble when dating a loser are outbursts of anger toward others and temper tantrums. Yelling, cursing, throwing objects and punching walls serve to intimidate followed by a quick reassurance that their temper will never be played out on you. This is abuse and you may become fearful of confrontation or of expressing your opinion which is a part of a healthy relationship.

  • Critical Behavior - The 'loser' is a master of the put-down. Your every move will be corrected; how you look will be critiqued; every bit of confidence and self-esteem will be attacked, forcing you to be cautious and distant and experience a sense of worthlessness.

  • Eliminates Social Network - To gain control, the loser will work to eliminate all other relationships including both families. Fearing the influence of others, the loser will sabotage and deceive you into agreeing that you need to make new friends and will calculate ways for you to emotionally distance yourself from even your own family.

  • The Blame Game - Losers never take responsibility for their bad behavior. No matter what negative emotion the 'loser' feels will be your fault. The loser will blame their anger and misbehavior on any small infraction you make and announce that if you loved them more or had not questioned their behavior things would be better.

  • No Personal Interests - Along with letting go of all your friends and your social circle, the loser will encourage you to stop participating in hobbies or activities outside of their control. The loser will be jealous and threatened by anyone you are close to - even your children.

  • Control Freak - If you're dating a loser, your every move will be questioned. To maintain control, even the mud on your car tires will be noticed and questioned. If you fail to answer your phone, the inquisition will be never ending: where were you, what were you doing, who you were talking to, etc. Trust will be absent from this relationship.

  • Public Embarrassment - Any opinion you express may be used against you in public to embarrass you into holding your comments and allowing the loser to be the center of attention.

Probably the most important thing to remember is that your friends and family can often see the truth of your situation better than you. Always take their concerns and observations into consideration.


By Vanessa May

DateShowcase.com © 2007
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 Other Helpful Articles:
Basics of Online Dating - New to online dating? Here's the basics.
First Date Tips and Advice - The DOs and DON'Ts for a first date.
Creative First Date Ideas - Creativity could get you that second date!
Replying to Personal Ads - Here's how to keep them coming back!

 

 

 

 

 

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