Dating After a Break-Up

Taking a leap of faith into a new relationship after
you've experienced the heartache of a break up is never easy. Confusing emotions and fear of rejection follow every failed relationship and make a new one seem like a frightening proposition. Don't let the pain of the past determine your future! Here are a few tips to help you move beyond the pain and back into the dating scene.

Avoid Isolation
One important step to help get past the hurt of a breakup is to change your habits and find opportunities to be with other people. Although it's natural after a breakup to want to isolate yourself, this is harmful behavior. Get out with family and friends; join a club or sports team; learn a new hobby.

Focus on YOU
After a break-up, you may feel like you're missing a part of yourself or not completely whole. Now is the time to focus on the things you put on the back burner during the relationship. Listen and follow your own heart's desires. Enjoy your new found freedom and get to know yourself better.

Learn & Grow
A breakup can offer a lesson to help you develop and grow. No one has control over all the events in life. This is never truer than when two people are working together to build the commitment of a lifetime. And no one can turn back the hands of time to change things when they go bad.

The only thing we do have control over is how we react to life events. Learn to see the positive side of things so that you can move into a new relationship without the feelings of anger and resentment that often are carried along.

Time - Friend or Enemy?
If you move too quickly into a new relationship after a breakup, you may carry serious baggage that should be resolved before moving on. Be sure you're not still carrying a torch for your old love or dating for the wrong reasons - to make your ex jealous or to fill the void left after a break-up.

Don't rush any relationship and especially one that follows a break-up! Be open to enjoy the company of more than one person for a time. Enjoy your time with more than one date and avoid any discussions about your previous relationship until you've decided to move on to the next step.

Here are a few additional tips to help you refocus your life:

1. Embrace each day and choose joy. Look for things that make you smile. You have the choice to be miserable or to be happy.
2. Try something new. Break out of old routines; create new memories.
3. Avoid the temptation to avoid people. Isolation will only make matters worse. Get out and let people in. Your attitude is solely in your control.
4. Write it down. Keeping a journal allows you the freedom to express all of your emotions without the fear of exposing yourself to others. Be honest and open, allowing the truth to come out. As time passes, the wound will heal and your journal will reflect a healthier, happier you.

You can't go back in time and change those things that hurt you, but you can decide to move forward into a brighter day. The loss of control you may feel is eased by remembering that time will lessen the pain and control will be yours once again. You will emerge a stronger, happier person.

By Noreen Ruth Dating & Relationship Expert DateShowcase.com Editor	Ask a question?

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