Body Language Signals

The cliché "actions speak louder than words" is alive
and well in dating world. Body language, no matter how subtle it may be, tells us a lot about potential partners and can help determine all-out dating success or failure. No matter how good you look or how well you carry a lively conversation, if you're body language is sending out the wrong signals, you don't stand a chance.

Body language or non-verbal communications is a relatively new area of study that can help teach us to express our true feelings and learn to avoid sending the wrong message by our actions. Confusion and frustration in a relationship can often be caused by one person speaking one thing aloud while their body language is sending out a different signal. Here are a few ideas to recognize the body language signals you may be sending and how to correct them.

Eye Contact - When you're able to look your date in the eye during a conversation, it's a non-verbal way to show them that you are comfortable and interested in what they have to say. The person who is able to look you in the eye is conveying honesty and sincerity. Shy people may not be able to make eye contact on the first few dates, but their whole overall demeanor would indicate that this is a personality trait rather than deception or discomfort.

Fidgeting - A restless, fidgety date can be frustrating because it's obvious that their attention is elsewhere. Finger tapping, clock watching or other obvious distractions are signals that show a lack of interest. When you work at paying attention to your date, these symptoms will not present themselves.

People Watching - Another obvious body language signal that shows a lack of interest is when other people in the room are getting more of your date's attention than you are. Furtive glances and comments about other people are a sign of discomfort and a way to avoid a more intimate conversation.

Rigid Posture - One of the easier signals to pick up is stress. Body language signals that indicate someone who is under a great deal of stress are folded arms, stiff, straight posture and a body angled away from their date. An unconscious move to lean away is a sure sign that someone is uncomfortable.

Signs to be Concerned - Body language can tip you off, if your relationship is starting to turn south. Changes in eye contact, posture and attentiveness are just the beginning. Other signs include less frequent contact or excuses for a lack of communication; a change in verbal expression or tone; moodiness or irritation and the most obvious: not showing up for a planned date.

One word of caution regarding non-verbal signs. Don't react at the first sign. They are extremely interpretive. We all can have a bad day! But if the behavior persists, then you need to resolve your concerns by talking it over.

By Noreen Ruth Dating & Relationship Expert DateShowcase.com Editor	Ask a question?

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