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cliché "actions speak louder than words" isn't more true than
when your involved in the dating scene. No matter how great you look or how well
you can carry on a lively conversation, if your body language is sending negative
signals, the relationship doesn't stand a chance. |
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Body language or non-verbal communications is
a relatively new area of study that can help teach us to express our true feelings
and learn to avoid sending the wrong message by our actions. Confusion and frustration
in a relationship can often be caused by one person speaking one thing aloud while
their body language is sending out a different signal. Here are a few ideas to
recognize the body language signals you may be sending and how to correct them.
Eye Contact - When you're able to look your date in the eye during
a conversation, it's a non-verbal way to show them that you are comfortable and
interested in what they have to say. The person who is able to look you in the
eye is conveying honesty and sincerity. Shy people may not be able to make eye
contact on the first few dates, but their whole overall demeanor would indicate
that this is a personality trait rather than deception or discomfort. Fidgeting
- A restless, fidgety date can be frustrating because it's obvious that their
attention is elsewhere. Finger tapping, clock watching or other obvious distractions
are signals that show a lack of interest. When you work at paying attention to
your date, these symptoms will not present themselves. People Watching
- Another obvious body language signal that shows a lack of interest is when other
people in the room are getting more of your date's attention than you are. Furtive
glances and comments about other people are a sign of discomfort and a way to
avoid a more intimate conversation. Rigid Posture - One of the easier
signals to pick up is stress. Body language signals that indicate someone who
is under a great deal of stress are folded arms, stiff, straight posture and a
body angled away from their date. An unconscious move to lean away is a sure sign
that someone is uncomfortable. Signs to be Concerned - Body language
can tip you off, if your relationship is starting to turn south. Changes in eye
contact, posture and attentiveness are just the beginning. Other signs include
less frequent contact or excuses for a lack of communication; a change in verbal
expression or tone; moodiness or irritation and the most obvious: not showing
up for a planned date.
One word of caution regarding non-verbal signs. Don't
react at the first sign. They are extremely interpretive. We all can have a bad
day! But if the behavior persists, then you need to resolve your concerns by talking
it over.
By Vanessa May
DateShowcase.com © 2007
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